Happiness: four obstacles to achieving happiness

We can say that we want to be happy, but there are four obstacles that make happiness escape us.

1. We are not sure what happiness is.

Remember the joke about the man who goes to the doctor and says “Doctor, it hurts when I raise my arm like that.”

The doctor replies, “Then stop doing that.”

Happiness is more than the presence of pleasure and the absence of pain. It is also a deep satisfaction with our life.

The Greeks viewed happiness as a philosophical way of behaving, that is, living a moral, ethical, and virtuous life. Modern thinkers view happiness as a psychological feeling of well-being. In both definitions, the source of happiness is within and can be controlled and increased.

But between these two main definitions there are two more: the belief that happiness is made up of enjoying as many pleasures in life as possible, and the Stoic belief that we cannot change much in our lives, so we must accept things as they are. They are.

2. We don’t know what makes us happy

Once we decide on our definition of happiness, what then?

Have you ever been behind that person in the fast food line who doesn’t know exactly what they want? The clerk is eager to take his order, but he can’t until they decide what they want, so he finally asks them to step aside.

Just like placing an order at a restaurant, you have to know what you want before you can have it.

Most of us are convinced that if only we had more money, a bigger house, and the job of our dreams, we would be happy. All of these are desirable and will surely bring some happiness, but material things can satisfy us only temporarily. Even though things only bring fleeting happiness, a primitive part of our brain keeps us chasing after them. Some people even go astray morally, risking their family and career, in search of temporary pleasures.

3. Unhappiness is much more popular and comfortable

Because happiness is sometimes equated with being a light intellectual or a Pollyana, we feel uncomfortable being seen as happy. When everyone else is complaining about the weather, traffic, high prices, and low wages, are you brave enough to step up and point out the wonderful joys of living? Most of us hesitate in favor of being part of the crowd.

Many of us believe with Ernest Hemingway: “Happiness in intelligent people is the rare thing I know.”

4. Happiness requires knowing how to do

If we want to embrace happiness in our lives, we have to decide what it means to us, discover our version of happiness, and be comfortable with happiness despite how others around us may put it down. Above all, we must be ready and willing to take action.

Just as we associate with people who have the qualities we admire, we must keep ourselves in the company of happy people if we intend to be happy.

Based on research with identical twins and twins separated at birth, scientists have found that about 40% of our happiness is based on our genetic makeup. We can’t change that part. About 10% is based on our upbringing, education, economic level, and other circumstances. We can’t change these either. But the remaining 40%-50% is in our power.

With the part of our happiness that is in our power, we have many choices to make. People who say they are happy practice positive emotions, take responsibility for their decisions, risk not going after what they want, show gratitude, build close relationships, and find a spiritual path that leads them to help others.

If you can remove these four obstacles, you can join the people who enjoy happiness as a way of life.