How to motivate your child or student
Many articles have been written on how to motivate children or students through the reward and punishment system, which deals with “outside” influences on behavior. In this article we will focus on the “internal” influences on behavior, that is, the temperament of the child / student.
Temperament is something you are born with. It is part of your nature, your way of being, it is part of who you are. Your child’s / student’s temperament will determine how he acts or reacts to different people, ideas, and situations. The idea of temperament has been around since 400 BC. It has been modified over the years, but is still used today by psychologists and educators around the world. There are four temperaments: choleric, melancholic, sanguine, and phlegmatic. We will proceed to give a brief description of each and then briefly discuss how each temperament is best motivated.
Tea choleric The child is a person who “takes charge” and loves to be in control. They are born leaders, full of energy, and good at setting their own goals. Because of this, motivation is usually not an issue. If so, one solution is to challenge them. Cholerics love a challenge and they love competition even more (against themselves, but especially against others). Challenge them with something more difficult, give them a goal or a new record to set. Another difficulty in motivating cholerics is that they like to be in charge and will rebel against any kind of authoritarian control. Make sure you allow them to keep their sense of autonomy within your structured limits.
Tea melancholic Has high ideals, is sensitive, perfectionist, introverted, analytical and slow to react. When you have trouble motivating a melancholic, it is not usually because they do not want to act but because they want to do the required task perfectly. They will analyze and re-analyze a situation, aiming for their high ideal, and they may never start. The best way to motivate a melancholic is to help them focus on the things that matter most. Help them set specific goals and let the little things go by. Because they are analytical, melancholics also tend to think and worry about all the things that could go wrong. You can help them avoid obsessing over details by setting goals and taking them one step at a time.
Some of the features of the blood include: optimistic, outgoing, live in the present, outgoing, enthusiastic, fun-loving and will jump right in. Since they are poles apart from melancholic ones, you shouldn’t have much trouble motivating them … the problem will be keeping them motivated! Since the sanguine is thrown in full swing, they tend to skip over details and soon run into obstacles they hadn’t thought of. Help them focus on the details and not the big picture (the opposite of brooding ones). Another thing to consider is the fact that they love fun. Take the fun out of something and you take away its motivation. Stop doing things with other people (the social aspect) and again you will lose your motivation.
Tea phlegmatic Not easily angered, loyal, trustworthy, naturally cooperative, and calm under tremendous pressure. They do not like conflicts or confrontations and will avoid them at all costs. If you want to motivate a phlegmatic, never belittle or scold him. They will only withdraw into themselves and resist you even more. Since they are naturally cooperative and open to help or advice from others, simply asking politely will be enough to motivate them. The only problem with this approach is that over time they will lose their self-confidence. By always avoiding conflict and taking the path of least resistance, they never learn to think for themselves or question anything, they just move on to get along. And if you remove the person who helps or advises you, you will be prone to laziness, not because you are lazy, but because you will lack self-confidence. The best way to help a phlegmatic is to encourage him and point out his strengths.
In conclusion, we can see that each temperament is very different and needs to be motivated in different ways. Try to get to know your child / student better to find out what their temperament is. It will take some work, but usually with close observation over a period of time you will be able to tell. There are also many good books written on the subject of temperament if you want to dig deeper. One final note: temperaments often come in combinations. Hardly anyone is 100% angry. Most people have a primary and secondary temperament. The secondary is not as dominant, but it can still influence the equation. We hope that understanding your child’s / student’s temperament will help you understand how to motivate them!