Arts Entertainments

Watch Your Media: The Basics of Public Apology and Why So Many Fail Miserably

Leaders make mistakes. That is a truth and an inevitability. It is what happens after the mistake that saves and even improves its revulsion, or destroys it. It may be a human tendency to avoid blame, circle cars, distract and turn, but avoidance techniques, if they work, will only serve to make the repair more difficult. Recent evidence suggests that those in the public eye could use a few reminders on the basics of issuing a public apology to stop a reputation from bleeding under fire for a careless statement or wrongdoing.

Take rapper DaBaby’s recent apology for his comments aimed at pointing out to anyone attending his concert that he might be on the brink of death, as he put it, from AHIV / AIDS. After facing immediate backlash from unsuspecting insults, the rapper first blamed social media for the resulting uproar, saying that “people want to demolish you before you have a chance to grow up, educate, and learn from your mistakes.” He hadn’t even admitted a mistake or issued an effective apology, before complaining that he hadn’t been able to quell the outrage.

Or consider the head of Michigan’s Republican Party blaming the “increasingly virulent political environment” after he was caught on tape calling the three highest-ranking female leaders in his state “witches.” Unsurprisingly, none of the “apologies” he continued to broadcast were well received.

So what are the key elements to remember in an effective apology?

  1. Authenticity: You will notice that both in the examples and in many others, the blame shifts elsewhere. A “sorry” cannot be followed by a “but” and be effective. (Side note, which also includes those who attempt to issue the backhand apology “to anyone who has been offended,” another qualifier that is used too often. This indicates that the apologetic is assigning the blame elsewhere, as if there were some lingering doubt as to the offense of the word or deed).
  2. Recognition of damage: For an apology to be considered sincere, there has to be some acknowledgment of the harm to another person, whether intentional or not. The responsible person has to show that they understand what they have done, that they have an impact on others, and not just issue an apology that those who listen believe is simply a bow to pressure.
  3. Do the right thing: What will you do, as far as possible, to remedy the damage done? As a criminal, it is your responsibility not only to ask for forgiveness and, regardless of whether it is given, to correct the situation whenever possible. Remember, it is not up to the aggrieved to forgive and move on. It is up to you as a criminal to apologize in a meaningful way, understand the damage so that it does not recur, and do what you can to earn forgiveness through action.

For those in leadership positions in particular, mastering the true public apology is essential. Reputations, careers, and entire companies and organizations can take enormous damage after a trust crisis, no matter how long before the stumble it has taken to build a solid reputation.

It will not be easy. If apologizing for mistakes were like that, there wouldn’t be so many easy, almost daily examples of public apologies gone wrong. As those headlines will tell you, it seems we’ve decided that even a poorly worded and phrased “sorry” should be good enough, but it never is. In fact, it never has been.

Recognize that any public figure or leader in any field, in any capacity, may be in the position of needing to apologize. Even if the leader of an organization did not do the harm, as a leader you will be judged based on whether you take responsibility for words or actions that harm others.

Whether from a lack of humility or a simple inability to recognize the damage, the landscape is littered with those who have destroyed years of hard-won struggles in public reputation with the lack of a meaningful apology. Remember the basics of an effective apology so that the reputation that matters most to you is not one of them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *