Where does Santa get his list of naughty or good?

This week, the Gracious Mistress of the Parochial House approached me with a serious question.

As far as I’m concerned, life is full of questions, but coming from it, I have to be very careful. I have discovered that a question with her is not simply a question. It can be much more than that with multiple layers. I’m still trying to figure out the dimensions from your questions.

If I don’t understand your question, my answer is going to get me in trouble. believe me; I know what the problem is.

I have several cats in the neighborhood that I feed. I’m not sure where they come from, but they show up on the back porch to get the free treats I offer. This has also attracted opossums, raccoons and foxes who come for the treats I have there for them.

Most of them are somewhat restless and try to stay out of trouble as much as possible. I can certainly relate to that.

Last week my wife bought a new rug for the back porch. It was red and it looked great. Showing it to me, she said, “Make sure you don’t spill anything on this new rug.”

I must not have been the only one who heard that. Since then, none of my “bugs” that come to my back porch have walked on that rug. Everyone walks around him and looks at him as if he is something very special.

I understood your dilemma as I have faced that dilemma many times myself.

However, the question I was asked by the Gracious Mistress at the parsonage was, “Are you on Santa’s good or bad list this year?”

Hearing that question caused me some trepidation. If anyone knows the difference between naughty and nice, it has to be my wife. I guess Good Old Santa gets tips on this from my wife. If I’m on his naughty list, then I know who put me there.

I’m not sure I can remember a time when I was on your good list. There must be a story behind that, I’m sure.

Precisely what does it mean to be naughty from Santa’s point of view?

For a moment, the temptation danced in my mind to ask my wife about this, but I was sure that if I did, she would tell me and tell me more than I really wanted to know.

I tried to reflect on the year to see if there was any indication that I crossed the line somewhere into the traverse area. I couldn’t think of any, but I’m sure I was missing something.

What I’m trying to figure out is, how do I get on their good list? Is there anything I can do to get off the naughty list? I’m open to all kinds of suggestions here.

Not that I worry about being on Santa’s naughty list. I can handle that. I just don’t want to be on my wife’s naughty list. That is definitely my goal in life. I will do anything within reason (if I had any reason) to not only be on your good list but to stay there.

I must confess that there are times when I lean towards mischief. I hope Santa never sees me at that stage of my life. More importantly, I hope my wife never sees me at that stage.
Naughty, to me, is doing something behind my wife’s back. For example: Eating an apple fritter is best done behind my wife’s back. If he sees me eating an Apple Fritter, he will remind me that it is not in my diet.

When she says, “my diet,” she is referring to her diet imposed on me. If you look at my diet, it includes apple fritters and much more, not hers.

Personally, I don’t think it’s bad to eat according to my diet. I know of nothing better than sitting down with a nice hot cup of coffee and a fresh apple fritter. So, it’s much better when I don’t get caught.

As for the question, if I’m on Santa’s good or bad list, I’m not too sure. Throughout the year, I tried to stay out of the shenanigans and focus on the nice things. I must confess that it’s hard trying to focus on being nice when mischief is so much easier.

Another consideration is, why should someone who only visits me once a year know if I’m good or bad? How can their judgment be correct if they don’t watch me all year long?

So to answer my wife’s question, I simply said, “I think I’m on your good list this year.”

She just gave me one of “those looks” and I knew her belief and mine were on different pages.

I thought about what I read in the Bible a couple of days ago. Something King Solomon said. “That you walk in the way of good men, and keep the paths of the righteous” (Proverbs 2:20).

The important thing is not if I’m mean or nice or if I’m on Santa’s list. The important thing is to surround myself with “good men”. The companions I keep are the ones who will help me walk the path of righteousness.