Are you living with your organizational opposite?
What is your type? No, not tall and dark and handsome or strong and silent. He is a freak of order vs. complete laziness. You probably didn’t even think about it when you were falling for your partner’s puppy dog eyes, but now that you’re living together, it’s probably one of the first things you notice. After all, opposites attract. If you’re a clean freak, clutter and lack of organization can seem like a personal attack. That pair of shoes left in the middle of the bedroom? It’s like a dagger straight to the heart. Or, if you’re lazy, you feel constantly bullied and scolded. “Why can’t I live in my own house like I want to?” you think. It’s challenging to coexist with its organizational opposite, so can a Pigpen and a cleannik live a happy, stress-free life?
Sarah on “knowing when to give up”
“My husband and I are lucky to be similar, but we’re also very different. While we both tend to be clean freaks, we never seem to care if the same thing is clean. He freaks out when I put the ketchup next to him.” milk on the top shelf, and I can’t stand the way the lumpy bed he considers “done” looks. We were driving each other crazy over such little things, so we decided we’d each take care of it. of things that matter to us personally. So I make the bed and he puts away the groceries. He’s our version of an olive branch, and he’s done wonders for our families.”
Alice on “Pigeonhole the Mess”
“I am lucky to say that I am still very much in love with my husband. I absolutely adore him, even more than the day we got married. That said, he can drive me crazy with his messy ways. He has, how do I put this elegantly? Standards rather “laid back” – and I’m a bit of an organizational maniac. We’re definitely opposites. After years of spitting nails on his doughs, I designate a messy area. He’s got a room I carved out of the garage that I let him keep as messy as he wants. If I find a lost belt or piece of mail that’s left where it shouldn’t be, go into that place and close the door. It really works for us.”
Tips for living with your organizational opposite:
If you are the order freak:
1. It’s not about you. Really, it isn’t. It may seem like a statement about you or a personal affront if your spouse leaves dirty socks on the floor, but it’s not. Get over.
2. Get rid of the Nag. Yes, you will attract more bees with honey, so stop nagging and start using positive reinforcement instead.
3. Establish Zones. It sounds like the United Nations, but if you choose a designated place like Alicia does, it can make a big difference in the way you see things.
If you’re lazy:
1. Before you ball up your socks and throw them to the dog for him to catch, stop and think about how it might be interpreted and who will inevitably be the one to pick it up.
2. Make small changes. Small steps go a long way and if you show that you are working to be a little less messy it will be appreciated. Pick one to improve each month and then keep up the good work.
3. Five minutes can really make a big difference. Set aside five minutes before bed to pick up ten things and put them away. You will be surprised how easy it is and your freak partner will love you for it.
So which one are you? The fanatic of order or the bum? How do you manage to live with your loved one and deal with their different standards? What advice would you offer others to keep the peace in the family? We would love to hear from you!