Challenges and changes for women over 40
There is no doubt that when a woman reaches her mid-forties it can bring about a change in thought patterns and awaken an awareness that she may want to pursue new goals and take on exciting new challenges and here at Plan Free Mum she does. we encourage and support. with enthusiasm. However, while some women are free, both emotionally and financially, to embrace new goals and pursue long-held dreams, other women over the age of forty find themselves mired in problems that can become truly overwhelming.
One of the main difficulties for older women at this age is being caught in the middle between aging parents and the demands of a teenage family with all the stress that can bring. Anyone with teenage kids knows that they have the uncanny ability to throw a curveball that can completely take you down. Then there is the pain of a relationship breakup. The mid-forties are an age where relationships are often re-evaluated as children grow up and become independent. Couples often find that they no longer have anything in common and decide to go their separate ways. Add to this the onset of menopausal symptoms, which many women over forty begin to experience, and it’s a tinderbox of emotional stress. All of these problems, when taken individually, are bad enough, but for older women they tend to come all at once, barely allowing them to breathe before the next crisis hits.
When an elderly parent falls ill, it’s completely natural to want to rush to their side and offer help in any way possible. This can involve long trips to and from hospitals, cleaning, shopping, administering medications, and generally providing support in whatever way is needed. Yet while all this is going on, the family itself is neglected, and despite being old enough to care for themselves, many women feel a terrible guilt that cannot be assured. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t because if you don’t tend to the needs of your aging parents, you can bet you’ll feel even more guilty. Plus, if you’re trying to hold down a full-time or even part-time job, it all becomes even more stressful. Trying to manage illness, family and work becomes more and more of a juggling game for women in their forties and sometimes it feels like you’re the only one playing!
On top of all this, Mother Nature decides to throw her luck into the mix. Many women over the age of forty begin to experience symptoms of menopause: night sweats, mood swings, aggressiveness, increased PMS, insomnia. In a way, this is not bad. The general hustle and bustle of everyday life can distract from these symptoms and certainly leaves no room for indulgence. However, if they are very bad and, for example, they prevent you from sleeping, soon things become unbearable and you are not good for anyone, especially the people who need you.
Sadly, we don’t get to choose what life throws at us and when, but it’s worth noting that this ‘sandwich’ between elderly relatives and the demands of a family of our own is pretty much unique to older women. Everyone has problems throughout their lives, of course, but for women over forty they come in multiple packages instead of one at a time. The trick, according to some of our members here on the Plan Free Mum forum, is to delegate and not feel guilty about it. If you have older children, it is important that they realize that they have to do their bit, maybe learn to prepare a meal or iron, walk the dogs, etc. Expectations need to be lowered on all fronts, especially your own. If you have siblings, make sure they are doing their fair share of caregiving, too. It’s too easy to move on just to avoid family arguments, but in the end it’s important that everyone do what they can. In your own home, stop worrying about clean bathrooms and home-cooked meals and at work, talk to your boss, explain the situation, and see if you can come up with some arrangement where you can make up time or work from home or trade shifts. or even take a period of unpaid leave if you are in a financial position to do so.
Turning forty is an exciting time for a woman, and as she progresses through her forties, most women discover that things change and that there are many challenges to face and problems to face and solve. However, don’t get discouraged in the tumult of it all. As we’re always pointing out here at PFM, you probably still have half of her life left to live and now is the time, even during the darkest of days, to start dreaming about what you want to do with her. Older women now have more opportunities than ever before, so hold onto that thought, that dream, and when things calm down a bit, you can join the thousands of other women over the age of forty who have changed the second half of their lives. for good.