Enabling the worst in African relations
“Goor mo bindoo nonou” (This is how men were created)
“Goor la! C’est normal” (He’s a man! He’s normal)
“Goor mo mel nonou” (Men are like that)
Oh really?!…
My sisters, my African sisters, time for a Wake Up Call.
In Senegal, these sayings about men are very common. And somehow, men have managed to imprint into our subconscious that it’s okay for them.
– to deceive us,
– to betray us,
– to beat us,
– to break our hearts,
– behave like predators,
– to disrespect us and treat us as they want because they are Men.
Who gave birth to men? Women.
Who raised them? Women.
Who allowed them to behave like primates with the daughters of others for being Men? Women.
Unfortunately, we women are the enablers.
There are exceptions to the rules, but African women need to STOP accepting being mistreated by men just because they are men. We as a society have given them a “Lifetime Pass” to treat us how and how they want.
When they deceive us, we tolerate it and we say to ourselves, they are only Men, that’s how they are.
When they beat us to death or almost kill us, we say to ourselves, they are only Men, that’s how they are.
When they abandon us and our children when we need them the most, we and our environment say the same thing: they are only Men, that’s how they are…
Oh really…
We need to start raising our children differently no matter what society says. Let us raise them to treat women like queens, to love themselves deeply, to be honest, to love others divinely, to respect women, to be guided by the heart and not by the ego, so that they are kind, generous, loving, so that they learn how to clean and cook so that they can appreciate when someone else does it for them.
Let’s stop accepting the nonsensical beliefs that “men are just men” thus giving them a lifetime privilege to be jerks, treat women like toys and take them for granted. This starts at Home, which means you should model this at home with her husband, if she has one. If she allows her son’s father to mistreat him, the son is likely to emulate her father.
The irony in Africa is that men don’t allow anyone to mistreat their mothers, but when it comes to other women, they have different standards. A woman raised them and took great care of them; they grew up and society took charge of their education. The subliminal matrix that they subconsciously submit to once they begin to associate with other men who influence them or with women without self-esteem that allow them to treat them as they want… they abide by new rules.
However, we women continue to be the enablers and they remain the “men who are only men.”
Food for thought.
Queen Mary Faye