I always worry that my husband will cheat on me again: tips and advice that can help

I can’t tell you how many women tell me that they just can’t leave the affair once and for all. They have made the decision to forgive and want to save their marriage. They have completed some work to restore confidence and have tried to move forward in a healthy way. However, something almost always goes wrong. Why? Because the little voice in the back of their head that fuels doubt and fear begins to whisper that the moment they let their guard down, they will revisit this again.

So, they start to worry every time he is late. They look for signs of deception in his eyes and sniff his clothes for perfume. They check their pockets before doing laundry. They analyze every conversation and criticize every time they make love. In short, they care. They are filled with anxiety that their husband will cheat on them again. They can’t seem to calm the sick feeling in their stomach or the feeling of fear that eventually the other shoe is going to fall off. I know very well because I experienced it. I know how crippling it can be. I will share how I was able to overcome these concerns in the next article.

Once you make what you know is the right decision, you have to make another decision to let it go:Deciding to save your marriage after an affair is not a decision to be taken lightly. Solving the multiple problems and doubts that arise requires a lot of hard and difficult work. All of your fears, insecurities, and flaws suddenly show up as you go. You have to commit to being vulnerable and open to difficult forgiveness. Not everyone is able or willing to do this.

You must carefully decide whether you are willing or able to focus on what has been going well in your marriage in the years leading up to this mistake. He must consider his family and how the decision he makes will affect them. And, you should think about whether it is healthier for you to walk away or stay. However, once you have carefully made this decision, you must commit to living with it and moving forward. You can’t keep going back because if you do, you will start to doubt yourself. And you don’t want to keep revisiting this thing that caused you so much pain. You want to create a new and better reality for yourself so that you are so happy and confident that you don’t have to back down.

So you need to set it up so you have what you need to be successful. If you continue to doubt your husband, ask him to check more. If you’re worried that your marriage isn’t strong enough to resist temptation, then make strengthening it your number one priority. If you’re worried that your sex life isn’t enough to keep him around, do better. Be very proactive and do whatever it takes to win back their trust. Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. You deserve much better than this. You must take back your power and know that you are absolutely enough and that you deserve the best marriage, the most committed husband, and to be as fulfilled as you deserve to be.

Restore your self-confidence: OK here is the ugly truth. Very often, I realize that it is not what the husband is doing that is causing you all the worry that he will cheat on you again. They are your own doubts about yourself. It’s because you feel like you’re not young enough, good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, attractive enough, or sexy enough to keep a man happy and satisfied. And this self-destructive talk will have to stop.

For just a minute, put the cheating or affair aside and brainstorm the insecurities you’ve always had, the ones that plagued you even before the affair. Because these are the ones that escalated afterward and these are the ones that you will have to overcome before you feel peace. Once you’ve identified them, deal with them. Do what you have to do to feel sure of yourself. You have to know that you can handle anything that comes your way because you are strong and capable. You have to know that he is very lucky to have you and that if he cheats again, you will be absolutely fine and take responsibility for his mistakes.

The truth is, as much as we want to, we can’t control other people’s decisions. We can set ourselves up for success. We can do the work to make sure our marriage is happy and exciting. We can accept that the people we love occasionally make mistakes. And, despite all this, we can think of living our lives with joy and openness. An affair doesn’t have to be a life sentence. If you allow it, you will have given the woman who cheated much more power over you than she deserves. Your best revenge is happiness. You deserve nothing less. So claim what you deserve and don’t look back.