When a husband’s abuse drives his daughter to suicide
I lost the most precious part of me; she lives in heaven, now she is free from the pain she suffered in her life. At least I know that she doesn’t feel any more conflicts. Although his body lies in a grave, I know that I must be strong and courageous. It hurts me that I can’t travel with her. To give her flowers, I would prefer.
I live in the United States with my American husband and I am now a United States citizen. Lanie’s grave is far from me in Montreal, Canada. He lived with me for the last two years of his life. I tried to conquer her biggest fears. His father had abused me years ago; With that fact, he had to live and grow. She visited him a couple of months before committing suicide. His father had explained that when he prayed at night, he prayed for those in order of importance to him. He told her that she was number seven on his list. He has no other children, but even if he did, children are not counted on an importance list. Lanie was very distressed by this considering she had forgiven him for the sexual advances. He paid her to swim with the dolphins, which she wanted to do with all her might. His father didn’t even stay to watch to see his excitement for his biggest dream. He called his new wife for a ride when he finished. The new wife was a year younger than her.
As she experienced my divorce, cruelty took hold of her more strongly. Her father said he hated her now, that terrible things happened then. When my daughter turned seventeen, my ex-husband became obscene. It taught him about the use of bad drugs. Then came the sexual ‘hugs’ from him.
Born two days before the age of eighteen, a child so close to me was a dream. More as friends, than as mother and daughter, same sign of the zodiac, we love water. Lanie enjoyed the life of the sea, for me, that is an important key. Whenever I watch dolphins play, I feel Lanie close to me all day. The butterflies made her smile, she would boast. She loved elegant purples. When I see a purple butterfly, my heart soars as I look up at the sky.
Although my daughter now lives in heaven, her contagious laugh still gives. A video made with her on it is my gift. With his laugh, he lifted his spirits. My beautiful daughter, rest in peace, my tears for you will never stop. I will never stop loving you so much. I pray, dear daughter, that you know.
When abuse affects a woman, it affects the children around her. When violence occurs, it can easily spread. People with a violent nature can inflict pain on others who are not their primary target. Beware of threats, those threats can become reality.
Above all, remember that children digest everything they see and hear. If seeing abuse becomes normal in everyday life, that child accompanies it into adulthood. My daughter would not let me press charges against her father because what happened to her was ‘normal’. I needed his testimony because he only told me certain facts after he was eighteen. She made it clear that she would not testify against her father.
She ended up in an abusive relationship and I took her out of it and that’s why she lived with me for the last two years of her life. Still, she had a pain that would not leave her. He wanted his father’s love. She had mine, but that wasn’t enough. Being number seven on his father’s list and never understanding sexual abuse, which even with years of therapy, never healed, he felt he only had one way out. She took her own life. She took a part of me with her. Don’t let this happen to you. If the abuse starts, run away with your children; save them and yourself.