Yom Kippur on Sdot Yam

Mon Oct 9 ’89/9:30 PM

Kibbutz Sdot Yam

Today was Yom Kippur, so I start writing on a “clean slate”, starting with synagogue services (2 1/2 hours) last night to mark the beginning of this holy day for Jews.

I went mainly for the experience, as well as the spiritual solidarity with my people (the Church of God and the Jews) throughout the world. I read and sang alone over a title of the service, amazed that I could keep up with Hebrew that I had never read before.

With me were other ulpanistim [Hebrew students] that he chose to fast, mainly, I think, because of experience or trial or display of willpower. Only God knows. I scanned the faces of everyone gathered in the makeshift synagogue with mixed emotions and an uncanny distance.

Tradition, even empty, hollow, superficial, has helped the Jews to preserve this Day, though imperfectly; however, I also couldn’t help but think of God and Kahane, who might dismiss such “worship” as vain and such “devotions” as void. Liberals, Hellenists, Humanists who have nothing to do with God and ignore or deny his Word as a general rule, as hypocritical and unacceptable as professing Christianity on the pagan days of Christmas and Easter, temporarily becoming “religious” or sick. ..However, may we all ultimately adore the One True God and His Son, in spirit and in truth. G’mar haiteemah tovah! [Be inscribed for good in the Book].

During this relatively easy fast today, I lay down and read and read Good News Magazine, I meditated on life, my past, present and potential future. I prayed and asked for forgiveness and clarity of mind and purpose with patience to overcome sins and achieve success in this spiritual struggle, resolving to start again to abstain from alcohol and stop going to our kibbutz pub on erev Shabbat. [Sabbath evening]. Today I greatly missed the services of the Church and the fellowship with the brothers, remembering our divine camaraderie.

My goals were to spend 3 weeks. in Florida with Steve and Bob, also to change my name to David Ben-Ariel, 18 days in Europe with mom and Lisa, make aliyah to Israel and join an ulpan (Hebrew language crash course). So far, so good. Now you must decide – God help me – to immediately continue the ulpan in ketah bet [class b – next level] somewhere, or temporarily suspend Hebrew to earn money in a moshav… I’m currently reading Hannah Senesh – Her Life and Diaries. The first 50 pages seemed very boring to me and I forced myself to read what seemed like made up Jewish propaganda: the girl seemed too good to be true, nauseatingly good. Now I’m enjoying it more as she mentions historical events, like Hitler etc.

I have wondered if perhaps the helplessness and hopelessness I have experienced in returning to God is part of His punishment to make me think twice before going astray again, not that He forgot me or abandoned me, just letting me sink in for a while. in my own mud Thank God I am convinced of his Call, Purpose and Interest in my life or he would have been dead a long time ago. Lady. Corpus once commented how God had given me that gift of FAITH.

I must fulfill my personal destiny as the Son of Jerusalem, publish my poems, the painting called PRIEST-KING – The Twin Pillars of Israel, and the book THE GREAT DESIGN [since published as Beyond Babylon: Europe’s Rise and Fall]. I must, God willing, RESTORE our Judeo-Christian presence in Jerusalem and Israel, important since I am from Bet David [House of David].

We got our first official rain the other day.

Hannah S. wrote: “When someone in Hungary spoke about Zionism five or even two years ago, Jewish public opinion condemned him as a traitor to Hungary, laughed at him, considered him a crazy visionary, and under no circumstances listened to him.” He reminded me how I too, subject to ridicule or suspicion, am a pioneer of the Church of God here in the Middle East. mr fiedler [one of my former ministers in the Worldwide Church of God] I had once said about my “activist” activities (writing to The Blade, my beliefs and actions) that I was so “unorthodox” – I replied that so was Mr. Armstrong, and like him, I would only do so if I were necessary, convinced of the correctness of my convictions. Later, somewhat angry or frustrated, he said, “Why can’t you be like everyone else who goes to the Middle East to party? [of Tabernacles]Are you satisfied and come back? Why do we always have to make inroads?” I said what he called “breakthroughs” which he considered “open doors” that I never sought or pushed, but walked through in faith, and that I simply believed what the Church taught, that I am a descendant of in part of Bet David and therefore I chose to return to my old homeland of the Jews: Israel.He said he was German but he didn’t feel he had to move to Germany.I told him it was his prerogative.

Previously, he and Mr. Gilbert [his associate pastor] He kindly warned me not to look so Jewish that it might give people the wrong impression of the Church, like saying Shabbat Shalom, etc. I thanked them for his concern, commenting that he was already aware of the need to be balanced, but also that God had used my understanding of the Middle East to become all things to Jews and Arabs, more than others in the Congregation. Then when HQ banned me from attending the Middle East Party indefinitely, fearing I might misrepresent the Church (as a homosexual) [due to one complaint about me during the Feast in Jordan that contradicted the biblical procedure of Matthew 18:15-17, as Mr. Gilbert noted]encouraged me even more to think that a separation was due [like the US was driven to separate from England after a series of injustices]a different job to do [with a God-given focus on Jerusalem and the Jews].

Years before I was sent home from Israel, I was strongly encouraged to do so, and had to wait for a resident minister in Israel to “supervise” my “activities.” [Church elder Carl Fields commented to me, “Are they setting a precedent?”] I waited 7 years, grandpa died, received my inheritance, traveled Europe and now, almost 30 (potentially significant), I am living in Israel studying Hebrew! I have been drawn to Israel, I want to be a part of the history of this old but young nation and ultimately fulfill my destiny in Jerusalem.