A review of "The four Agreements"

Who among us would not want the freedom to be who we really are without worrying about what others think?

I just finished the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and it is his opinion that if we follow these four agreements, we can be much freer and therefore live a happier life. Are there any of us who have not wished for this at some point in their life?

The four Agreements

Be impeccable with your words

By being impeccable with his word, Ruiz wants everyone to clearly understand how powerful our words are and how they can have a profound effect on others. We must be very careful not to do harm with the words we say and we do so by making sure that love and truth are behind each one. Always speaking with integrity and saying only what we mean is paramount. Ruiz demonstrates how gossip is one of the most destructive forces we create with our words and should be avoided at all costs. He also reminds us to be kind to ourselves with our words and refrain from using them against ourselves. If we are clear and keep love in mind when we speak, we are ensuring that our words are always impeccable.

Don’t take anything personally.

Ruiz reminds us that it is our responsibility not to take anything that others do personally. What they do is a reflection of their own lives and their own reality. Making sense of what they say or do dismantles our own happiness and is not a true reflection of our own reality. To avoid being a victim and questioning the meaning behind the actions of others, it is imperative not to take anything personally. Knowing fully that we all do and say things that reflect our own lives can help us remember that the actions of others are their reality and therefore nothing should be taken personally.

Don’t make assumptions.

The agreement not to make assumptions refers to the importance of communicating clearly. How many times do we take the facts of a situation and create a big story behind them, full of assumptions and negative thoughts? Ruiz reminds us that it is essential to have the courage to ask questions if we need clarification. As important as it is for us to ask honest questions, we must also communicate with others in the clearest and most direct way possible, always remembering the first commitment to be impeccable with our word. Ruiz affirms that with only this agreement a life can be transformed.

Always do the best you can.

There are many times that we do a mediocre job at something and later regret it. Our lives are busy and we rush through things thinking “just enough” is enough. Ruiz shows how doing the best we can will always help us avoid self-criticism, self-abuse, and regret. He also reminds us that the best of us are not always going to be the same. There will be days when we will be able to perform at a higher level than others, but that doesn’t matter. As long as we are true to ourselves and can honestly say that we did the best we could, then we cannot regret it.

The freedom Ruiz writes about has to do with the human spirit. He says that none of us are free to be who we were supposed to be because we spend all our time blaming others instead of living by the four agreements.

If we look at small children, from one to three years old, we see that they are free spirits, totally free. They do what they want and they are completely wild. They smile, laugh, dance, explore the world and are totally uninhibited, only showing fear when they are hurt, hungry or their needs are not met. These children do not think about the past or the future; They are totally committed to the present. They express themselves for who they are, not for what they assume others will think of them. They are unfailingly honest, until they learn to lie. Children live and breathe “the four agreements” and are the happiest people on earth.

This is what we were all meant to be: full of joy and uninhibited happiness. That doesn’t mean we want a bunch of wild adults running around, but finding a balance and following “the four agreements” can help us free our spirits and recapture our childhood happiness.

While I’m sure most people know these four agreements deep in their hearts and do their best to practice them, it never hurts to be reminded.

As Deepak Chopra said, “The Four Agreements is a roadmap to enlightenment and freedom.”