The alphabet of your career path – V is for Vulnerability

It takes courage to be vulnerable, especially in the workplace! It can be very difficult and stressful to be “seen” by others when faced with challenging problems. By exposing ourselves to others to express our opinion, we expose ourselves to possible ridicule. HOWEVER, more importantly, it can open the door to innovation and a willingness to see situations differently.

The question then is when is it appropriate to show our vulnerability? Every situation is different, so it’s hard to define best practices when it comes to potentially difficult conversations with coworkers, bosses, and other stakeholders. Let’s hope that the work environment is such that there is psychological safety, trust and integrity. Without these three elements plus both parties having high emotional intelligence, these interactions could be highly conflictual to the point where relationships are irreparable and the workplace becomes toxic.

To guard against this, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Some see this as a waste of time because they feel that the other person will not take their opinion into account, that she is needy or complaining, or that she always has to win. Stick to the facts when you do your situation analysis and determine the best outcome you can expect. You also have to set limits for yourself and also consider those of the other person. In other words, take the time to make a plan as you would if it were a project. Anticipate what the sunk cost would be if this does not come to a successful conclusion, as well as what safeguards can be put in place so that both parties respect each other.

Another thing to consider is: do we put ourselves in situations where we are more vulnerable than at other times? Naturally, this can happen when we meet or introduce ourselves to senior leaders in the company, but we also need to identify those people who intimidate us for a variety of reasons. Why does our confidence drop when we interact with these people? What traits do they possess that make us feel insecure? Are they really doing something different from how others behave or do we just perceive them in a different way?

There are definitely pros and cons to being vulnerable, but we all have different tolerance levels. What we need to consider is not just how we feel, but how we project our thoughts onto others and in turn make them feel vulnerable. This is just another part of our professional journey in that we can’t have a meaningful connection with someone if one or both of us feel like they’ve hit a dead end.