The Dali Lama, Curt Schilling, and Kosher Red Meat Hot Dogs
The fox in “The Little Prince” said: “Words are a source of misunderstanding.” Who invented the words? Would we all be better off if words had never been invented? Surely without words there would be no Holy Bibles commanding group members to kill all non-group members for eternal paradise, no cars, no nuclear weapons, and no credit default swaps. When was the last time you saw our ancestors the apes starving from derivatives?
Many words in English have multiple meanings. The question arises, when someone took a word that meant one thing and gave it a new meaning, why didn’t someone say: “You can’t give it that meaning because it already means…” The word “peace” has several meanings, without include the meanings of the word “piece”. The word “peace” spawned several new words such as “pious” and “peyes.”
“Peace” means freedom from war or stopping war, a treaty or agreement to end war or the threat of war, freedom from riots or public disorder, public safety, law and order, freedom from disagreement or dispute , harmony, concord, an unperturbed state of mind, absence of mental conflict, serenity, calm, stillness and tranquility. Have you ever listened to the thoughts of your own mind? If there is a war inside each of our own heads, how can we reach a state of agreement between two people or large groups of people?
This week a riot broke out at the Shawarma King kosher Jewish restaurant in Brooklyn when a rabbi noticed a non-kosher hot dog on the grill. It was like when the candy bar, aka Doody, was thrown into the pool at the Bushwood Country Club during the caddy swim at “Caddyshack.” A hundred men wearing peyes went berserk, and the restaurant owner defended himself with an electric knife. Like Bill Murray at Caddyshack cleaning the pool in his hazmat suit, the Shawarma King restaurant threw away equipment that came in contact with the non-kosher hot dog.
The Old Testament, the Holy Scriptures of Judaism, Christianity and Islam are full of commandments to eat only kosher food. Jesus Christ, the Jewish-born rabbi and the Messiah of Christianity and Islam said, “It is not what goes into a person’s mouth that makes him impure, but what comes out of a person’s mouth.” With all due respect to the creator of the universe, Dr. Rashmi Sinha and his fellow researchers at the National Cancer Institute in Rockville, Maryland, discovered today that eating red meat significantly increases your chances of heart disease, cancer, and a short life.
In response to the findings, Major League Baseball’s Jewish commissioner Allan Huber “Bud” Selig announced that baseball would henceforth ban hot dogs from all major league parks and switch to vegetarian dogs. The Fed came close to following his example. Right-hander Curt Schilling said, “I can deal with shoulder surgery and bleeding through my socks, but this is ridiculous; I’m out of here.”
The 2010 World Cup of soccer, also known as soccer, is scheduled to be played in South Africa. This Friday marked the opening of a peace conference in Johannesburg. All living Nobel Peace Prize winners were invited to attend the meeting to discuss how football can combat racism and xenophobia. Xenophobia is the fear or hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything strange or strange, such as payot.
Unfortunately, the football peace conference has now been canceled because South Africa refused to issue a visa card to the 1989 Nobel Peace Prize winner, the Dali Lama. The conference hosts were Nobel Peace Prize winners Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and FW de Klerk. The Nobel laureates couldn’t even agree to meet. They have painted the head of the loving and peaceful religion of Buddhism as part of the axis of evil.
The reason why the Dalai Lama and his Buddhist disciple Tiger Woods were banned from entering South Africa is that China, which has the mortgage of the United States of America, told South Africa that if they allow the Dalai Lama into the country, they would ban all cattle sales your soup to the African nation. Wontons are meatballs filled with pork. Commissioner Selig also banned the sale of wontons at all Major League parks for fear of causing a riot in the stands.
Earlier this year, the Dalí Lama said China had turned Tibet into “hell on Earth.” Human beings show an amazing lack of foresight. Our advent into space has only just begun and we already have outer space so polluted that millions of junk shells are now orbiting the earth and it is too risky to launch space shuttles into space without being wiped out by our own junk. Two spacewalking astronauts had to leave this week to repair damage to Endeavor caused by plastic wrap from Chicago Style Hot Dogs. Watch Gretchen Wilson dressed as a hot dog huntress singing “Take Me to the Ball Game” before China shuts us out, cancels baseball, and bans the Dali Lama from our country: