curse of the kicker
Here’s the story…
It’s Superbowl 41, with a minute and a half to go in the fourth quarter. The New England Patriots have led the Atlanta Falcons the entire game and are holding on to a 7-point lead. They have the ball at the Falcons’ 40-yard line, third-and-three with Atlanta without timeouts. If the Pats get a first down, it’s all over.
“Stupid press,” says Pats-Fan Gary as he and his best friend raise a glass in celebration.
“Always turning nothing into something.”
Tom Brady takes the snap from center and fakes the handoff to Corey Dillon. Desperate Falcons bite into the fake, leaving tight end Daniel Graham wide open, one yard beyond the first down marker……
At a party in Los Angeles, columnist Jack Pack, who all year had been prophesying the beginning of the end of the Patriots’ championship years, sits in awe.
“I guess I was wrong…”
The ball skids hard down the field and lands straight into the hands of the confident Graham. But this time his confident hands inexplicably turn to butter as he drops the ball.
The two Patriot fans gasp in amazement.
“Could be?”
Back at the party, all Jack Pack can do is sit back and smile, as everyone starts looking at him like he’s the next Nostradamus.
The Patriots, in no man’s land, decide to clear it out; as a punt, Josh Miller had been key in getting the ball inside the 10-yard line all year and Atlanta’s offense struggled all day to move the ball consistently.
Miller quickly grabs the perfect snap and proceeds to dunk the ball ten yards down the field and out of bounds…a net six-yard kick.
“IT JUST CAN’T BE!”
One minute and eighteen seconds later, it is. Atlanta scores on a last-second thirty-yard “Hail Mary” on fourth and ten, sending the contest into overtime.
Atlanta then wins the coin toss, forcing the resilient Patriots to start.
Paul Edinger, whom the Patriots acquired to replace folk hero Adam Vinitieri, delivers the perfect kick. Seven yards back in the end zone, Allen Rossum decides to run.
Rossum shoots through the middle of the field and quickly runs to the right. He breaks two tackles inside his twenties and goes on the run, galloping through the huge seam in kick coverage and down the field for the game-winning touchdown.
How long could a Patriot drought last? Maybe 86 years? And finally, what would be the cause of years and years of futility?
Cue the music and get the deep voice guy ready, please…
“THE KICKER’S CURSE!”
The Fenway ghosts haven’t left town, they’ve just been traded. The pesky poltergeists had been waiting for the next team to harass them; and thanks to the wealthy Pats who let the biggest sports figure since Michael Jordan go for a measly couple of million dollars, they got their wish.
Let’s just hope Bob Kraft doesn’t use the money he saved to finance a Broadway play called Beavis and Butthead of Manhattan.
I just don’t understand. Yes, Pats’ Brass wasn’t sure where he was going to cap his salary in the pending collective bargaining agreement, but they must have known they could have paid three million dollars; especially for the guy who ended up with two and a half Superbowls.
But is that enough for a curse?
Yes Yes Yes! It’s not just a bad soccer move, it’s also a bad karma move. When the Red Sox sold Ruth, of course they hurt their team in the short term; But when Babe retired, what stopped the Red Sox from winning the World Series?
Karma.
But what about teams like the Chicago White Sox, who prior to last year hadn’t won a World Series since 1917? Did no one associate some kind of curse with its ineffectiveness?
That’s because they were never cursed, they were just never really “that good”.
The White Sox have never had a ball pass through the legs of their first baseman in the extra innings of Game 6 of a World Series; nor did they ever have the misfortune of having a fan reach over the fence to steal a sure out during another’s late innings.
It is not the drought that makes the curse. It’s when a team “gets there” and strange and unexpected things happen that ruin their championship chances.
The Red Sox had the Bambino, the Cubs have the Billy Goat (hey, Goats have feelings too!), and now the Patriots may have the Kicker.
So next time the Patriots are close to becoming Superbowl champions again, look closely. See what strange occurrences prevent them from winning.
I just hope for the sake of the Patriots (and their fans) that the Ghosts decide to go to a warm weather team or that Donald Trump buys the franchise and “fires” them.