Helicopter parenthood: what is it and where does it come from?
Helicopter parenting is a relatively new term in our cultural lexicon. It refers to the current cultural trend of parenting with a keen eye for protecting our children from any potential source of harm, risk, and/or disappointment. In many ways, helicopter parenting is synonymous with the notion of “over-parenting” and/or “hyper-parenting.”
The Origins of the Term “Helicopter Parenting”
The term was first used in the 1990 book titled “Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility” in a section on “ineffective parenting styles.” From there, the term was taken up again in educational circles to refer to the intensive intervention of some parents in the daily aspects of their children’s educational life: their activities in the classroom, their courses and grades, their communications with teachers and teachers. , etc.
Thus, when the term helicopter parenting is used pejoratively, it is intended to suggest that today’s parents are floating. too much — that there is such a thing as too much protection, too much parental control, too much supervision, participation and intervention. In fact, the end result of a parenting approach that aims to eliminate as much risk, disappointment, and physical/emotional harm as possible is to constantly hover, like a helicopter, above the events of children’s daily lives.
The argument against helicopter parenting, then, is that it takes some degree of physical/emotional disappointment, hurt, and risk, and some degree of “handling things yourself” for children to become responsible, resilient, capable, self-sufficient and self-sufficient. – Deal with members of society.
Where does helicopter parenting come from?
The desire to minimize, eliminate and manage risk is No exclusive domain of paternity. In fact, “risk awareness” is itself a central feature of modern life. The quest to understand, calculate, communicate, manage, and otherwise minimize or eliminate the myriad risks associated with our daily lives has become one of the defining characteristics of modern post-industrial societies.
In this context, the trend towards helicopter parenthood is No simply an isolated problem of overzealous parenting, a case of “ineffective parenting” or “overparenting” that is somehow at odds with broader cultural behaviors and trends. Rather, our broader contemporary obsession with risk and risk management actually wait and demand that we are parents with a watchful eye for the various things that could possibly cause any form of physical or emotional harm, injury, discomfort, pain, or disappointment.
Modern parenting culture expects parents to have a moral and social responsibility to be extraordinarily “risk-aware” in the face of their parenting philosophy and behaviors. Scholar Ellie Lee, for example, argues that in today’s risk society, “cultural norms…construct the ‘good/responsible mother’ as the mother who is alert to the multiple risks that contemporary society poses to her child.” (s) child(ren) and considers it his job to manage these risks through reference to expert opinion.”
In other words, the trend toward helicopter parenthood is, for better or worse, a completely logical result of an already risk-obsessed, expert-led culture.
In defense of parents
Understanding where helicopter parenting comes from doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good or bad thing. However, it is to say that the tendency to want to protect our children from any and all possible sources of risk (often achieved by hovering, stepping in, and “helicoptering” over our children) is little more than an extension of broader cultural trends that define modern risk society.
That being said, parents are often caught in a dilemma. On the one hand, helicopter parenthood is interpreted as “excessive parenting” and is judged negatively. However, if we reduce our level of control and involvement and allow our children to be exposed to more risks in their daily lives (that is, if we consciously challenge the philosophical underpinnings of helicopter parenting), still face the possibility of being judged negatively, especially if that longer leash results in some kind of physical or emotional injury to our child.
The implicit cultural expectation is that parents are neither too risk averse nor too risk tolerant, but to get the balance “just right”; basically, figuring out how to walk the tightrope.
I have serious concerns with this implicit expectation of modern parents, particularly if it is primarily professionals and “experts” (as opposed to the parents themselves) who have the primary authority to define and judge what is “correct” parenting, what is the combination optimal risk exposure and risk aversion can be for any child. Behavior that might be considered “too risky” by one family might be entirely within the acceptable range of risk by another. This, I think, is a good thing and No something that needs to be trimmed. We should have variations in our parenting styles and in our risk assessments. This keeps us thinking, it keeps us on our toes, and it keeps us debating and talking about one of the most important jobs in the world, raising the next generation.
Suggestions for further reading
Helicopter parenting is an important phenomenon to discuss, as it speaks to some of the key tensions of modern parenting culture. As such, I have a couple of suggestions for “further reading”. One is an interesting and balanced article recently published in Time magazine called “The Case Against Overparenting.”