How to tell if the guy you’re dating is serious about you

Everyone needs company. Unfortunately, choosing the right partner can be quite difficult. But it can be easier if you know what clues to look for, how to size up your potential partner, and what to do about your dating situation.

As a homicide detective, I have seen up close the devastating effects of a relationship gone wrong: Murder. And as a serial dater, I’ve realized that there are several clues that can tell both partners if the relationship is worth saving or if it’s time to move on. As a father and author of a book dealing with relationships, I have made it my mission to educate women about their relationships so they can make better decisions.

I’ve talked to countless women who ask me some variation of, “How do I know if my man is really interested in me, in this relationship?”

Well, there are several clues.

1. Watch what he does, not just what he says. Does it do what it tells you it will do? If he says he will call at 6, does he call at 6? If he says he’s taking you out to dinner on Friday, does he show up and do just that? Often, men who aren’t that serious about you or the relationship will promise one thing but consistently fail to deliver. A man who really wants to be with you will do everything possible to keep his word and keep what he promises, and more.

2. Is he open and honest? Does your man try to hide his cell phone, hide information about where he is going, or in some other way behave secretly? If your man always turns off his cell phone when he’s with you or never seems to tell you the whole truth, watch out. This is a sign that he has something to hide.

3. Does he want to spend time with you outside of the bedroom? If it seems like the only time you spend with your guy is in bed, that’s a big red flag. He doesn’t see you as anything other than sex. And if that is the case, you can be sure that he is not serious with you. A man who takes you seriously is interested in spending time with you beyond the bedroom.

4. Does he take you with his friends and family? A man who is serious about you or who sees a future with you will want you to meet people who are important to him. If it seems like he never wants to take you out with his friends and family, be careful. Seriously ask yourself why that is. Sure, in a new relationship your guy may not rush to introduce you to his parents, but if you’ve been dating for a while and he hasn’t invited you to any of his family functions or social events, know that he’s waiting for you.

These are all clues about your man’s interest in you and his intentions. A man who is interested in building a relationship with you will keep his word, be open with you (even if he has to tell you something you don’t want to hear), want to spend time with you engaging in a variety of activities, and want to introduce you to other people in his life. If your man doesn’t do these things, he may not take you seriously. And if you’re looking for something more, you may have to look elsewhere.