Girls Talk – Boys Talk
Chas and Dave wrote a song about it and how right they were. Women love rabbit! Whether you call it chatting, chatting, gassing, or just plain talking, we’re way ahead of the opposition on the stakes. Not that I’m saying it’s a reason for our men to leave us, as Chas and Dave suggested, but I have no doubt there are times when they wish we’d put a sock on them.
Most of the time, talking to another woman is a lot less work than trying to strike up a decent conversation with a block. How many times have you tried to start a conversation by mentioning something you’re sure he would find nice only to receive the standard “mmmm” response. If he knows you love BMWs and there’s a good example of one parked on the road, try saying “that’s a nice car, isn’t it?” and he watches what happens. Yes, the standard answer. If he really wants me to talk, he’ll try “I can’t see what nobody sees in those cars” and before he knows it, he’ll be talking about how reliable a BMW engine is (assuming it is, of course). ). of course), how comfortable the interior is, not to mention how well planned the layout is and the luggage room just amazing! And did you know that he can do 0-60 at the speed of a fart? The point is that men need to be drawn into action through a good disagreement. Small talk, for the sake of it, is not his forte.
Not surprisingly, given our differences, men get frustrated with their wives who constantly want to talk about things that offer no argument. They don’t see the point of discussing the scent of roses unless you think it smells like sherbet while he thinks it smells like honey! And if you’ve already decided on a Greyhound, why keep talking about them? The topic would only really merit further discussion if he has begun to doubt the decision, but for him, simply reiterating that greyhounds make wonderful pets is not worth wasting words.
Women, on the other hand, are happy to spend hours discussing various aspects of life, whether it’s which washing powder works best (although I have to admit, this particular topic is short-lived around here) or whether or not there is life. . in outer space. We will look at our lives from all perceptible angles and serve our emotions on a plate to be shared and devoured. When we talk about sex it is because we experience difficulties in that department or finally achieve a multiple orgasm. The fact that the block next to the BMW (the one you admired earlier with your partner) has a huge lunch box is not THAT important to us. Sure, we’ll joke about it, but where men stop at “I’d give him one,” women will discuss “why” they’d give him one.
How many times have you known your partner (or parent or sibling) to pick up the phone for no other reason than because they feel like chatting? They may have done it during their courtship days, but do they ever call their male friends just to have a rug? I doubt it. Women, on the other hand, can spend hours on the phone with the same girlfriend, talking about anything and everything, going into minute detail about every event that has happened since they last spoke and still finding everything just as interesting as they would. . It had been the first conversation they had ever had. Witnessing this behavior, the men just shake their heads, wondering how the hell we can find so much to talk about with someone we visited for three hours last week. For a man, the telephone is a means of getting in touch when something needs to be said or done, or, for some, a means of getting excited quickly by dialing numbers at premium rates. It’s certainly not a tool designed to cultivate friendships.
I’m not saying that men will never talk; of course they talk. Men are great at discussing business and are generally happier speaking in public than women, but they need a definite goal to be worth speaking about. For them, when they talk about the new car next door, the technical specifications are what interests them, while we are probably wondering about its cost and how the hell they managed to pay for it. Gossipy, yes, but that also comes naturally to women.
Obviously, our propensity for gossip dates back to when we lived in caves. The men went hunting, leaving the women in charge of the cave and the young. For these women, it was important to know what was going on around them in order to keep their own home and family safe, something that eventually became gossip once we mastered the art of meaningful speech. Knowing that Miss Chucklebum would probably steal her food supplies or that old Poop-pants had been known to rape women while his men were away were important things to know. Gossip was what moved this information rapidly through the villages, like the drum of the jungle. Unfortunately, gossip often turns facts around, so poor Annie Spottyface was seduced by Tommy Littleballs could easily turn into something that makes Annie sound like she’s slept with half the town.
Men, no matter how much they deny it, also gossip. They don’t see it that way because their gossip takes a different stance. Knowing that Dave has put a new turbo on his engine or that Bob has been promoted is as much gossip as anything we women talk about. Men gossip because, going back to the days of yore, they needed to know which tribes or villages were strong and with what weapons they were likely to fight. That sort of thing translates in our modern society into who has the most money (money = power) and what they have earned by doing. The facts were, and still are, important to them from a strategic point of view. My partner would call it “intelligence gathering,” but no matter what awesome name you put on it and how pretty the packaging is, it’s still gossip, plain and simple. They just don’t do it as much as us ladies.
Conversation is a bonding agent between women, something men don’t need. They bond through activities; either making them or discussing them. If they’re not on a muddy field kicking around a ball, then it’s going to be “Did you see Beckham’s penalty last night?” Oh, and “look at the knockers on that” will sometimes come into play because sex is just as much an activity as football, biking, fixing cars, fishing, or having pints.
Most of us have heard that women use about three times as many words a day as men, but even so, in mixed-gender companies, men are likely to dominate the conversation. Because? Because they need to exert their power and strength, of course. That’s not to say that there aren’t women who wouldn’t dream of allowing a man to dominate in this way and there are also men who wouldn’t dream of trying it, but in general, men like to have their voices heard. I’m afraid we girls are somewhat to blame for that too, due to our tendency to tack on a question at the end of a statement. Saying “that was a delicious meal, wasn’t it?” it allows others to jump right in and, in the case of a man, answering the question allows him to change the subject to satisfy his need to dominate the conversation. Trust me, the only way we can control a conversation is to stop open endings, because while we may see them as showing concern for the opinions of others, men will see them as weak statements from a woman who doesn’t know her. my own mind.
Another way in which the sexes differ can be clearly seen when a woman wants to talk about something that is bothering her. I’d be reasonably fine now if I’d been given a pound for every time I heard a woman complain “he always has to be so argumentative”. However, she’s not doing it to hurt; it’s just the nature of it. Argument is good, small talk is a waste of time. We just have to accept that they’re not women (and I can assure you there are times when I’m glad my partner isn’t) and let them do what comes naturally. That, by the way, also includes offering advice. Again, for him, if the conversation is going to achieve anything, a solution is needed. You may not want advice, but he’ll give it to you, regardless. A friend complained that her husband didn’t listen to her problems because she never followed her advice anyway and if she wasn’t going to listen, why should he bother listening to her? I can see that a man can get frustrated by women who “don’t listen”, but when we desperately want to share our feelings with someone else without being “told what to do”, that’s when we really need our girlfriends.
For life to go on, women need men, but when it comes to talking, women need women. It is good to be understood.